THIS JUST IN…… Details are Sketchy (and so are the participants)
From what this Reporter is able to gather, This morning, A half asleep, unsuspecting, sweet little old lady stepped into a Cyber-room and was Shot for Impersonating a Duck! Yes, you read that right…. A DUCK! This Reporter is unsure how Eeyore Footie Pajamas even Remotely resemble a Duck….. and I haven’t had an opportunity to interview the culprit yet…… but that’s beside the point….. I’ll make up something by the time this goes to Press….. something to do with Demon Weed…… that should stir the masses!
Back to the story….. Witnesses state that the Sweet Little Old Lady retaliated with a shot of her own but unfortunately, it was only a flesh wound and the culprit was able to escape to another Chatroom. By the time the S.L.O.L. was able to catch up with him, she had found that he had met up with a cohort who supplied him with fresh ammo and then ducked for cover….. (the lily livered varment) apparently hoping to just Hide & Watch the Carnage that was about to Ensue!
This is where things get sketchy….. according to Witness Statements….. the UnImaginable Happened….. this S.L.O.L. whipped out TWO Rapid Fire Nerf Guns and Opened Fire, nailing the Two Culprits and several innocent bystanders as she dove behind the couch! Oh the Humanities….. Chatters Scrambling Willy-Nilly for Cover…… Most unsure of what was going on….. and a few (you know the ones) that just sat there and watched….. with nary an “Eh” muttered.
At this time, no Real Injuries have been Reported…. the Instigator can be seen sipping his coffee and firing up his bubbler (I KNEW that Demon Weed was involved!)….. his Cohort seems to be looking for Another Pot to Stir…… the other chatters have settled back down to their regular Clicketty-Clack…… and from behind the couch, a muted “Fuck’n Meow” can be heard. When this Reporter ventured over to the couch to see if there was Anything I could do….. the only reply I got was “I’m FINE…..Just Bring Me My Fuck’n Crayons & a Blanket…..”
As I Report this to You, I wonder…… could this be an indication of what is to come…… could this be the Beginning of the End…… or the Beginning of the Beguine? Perhaps it’s too soon to tell…..but rest assured, This Reporter Will Not Rest until I find out How Eeyore Footie Jammies Look Like a DUCK!
Now, Back to your Regularly Scheduled Scrolling……. Film @ 11